I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.

In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.

What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.

If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.

Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.

Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.

In this episode:

Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype

Resources mentioned:

Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

I Was More Nervous to Come Out as Autistic at Work Than I Was Coming Out Bisexual

The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

I Was More Nervous to Come Out as Autistic at Work Than I Was Coming Out Bisexual