St. Peter stood at a podium before the Gates of Heaven. The gates were gold, built on a foundation of clouds. A line of people curved and winded across the clouds, beyond what would be a horizon if this plane of existence was positively-curved. Instead, they just trailed away into Infinity, away from the golden wall securing Heaven.

The worthy would enter eternal paradise. The unforgiven would burn in Hell for just as long.

"Next please," said St. Peter.

The foremost man stepped forward. He had freckles and brilliant orange hair.

"Tell me about yourself," said St. Peter.

"Me name's Seamus O'Malley, sure, and I was—or still am, begorrah―an Irish Catholic," said Seamus.

"How did you die?" said St. Peter.

"Jaysus, I went and blew meself to bits tryin' to cobble together an auld explosive to give those English occupiers a proper [...]

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First published:
May 30th, 2024

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/XD6BCyenoiy8329E8/the-pearly-gates

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

“The Pearly Gates” by lsusr

LessWrong (30+ Karma)