Epicurean status: strawman, kind of.

Gourmet George: Yum! This chocolate is so sweet and tasty.

Sweet Caroline: Yeah, it's pretty good. And someday in the glorious hyperculinary future, we’ll figure out how to make it even sweeter!

GG: I think this chocolate is sweet enough, actually.

SC: Huh? But you like sweetness, don’t you?

GG: Sure…

SC: Well, then we’re in agreement. We should maximize the sweetness of this chocolate.

GG: I don’t want my chocolate to be maximally sweet, though.

SC: But you’d be “sweeter on” that chocolate if it were sweeter. By definition!

GG: I’d be “sweeter on” the chocolate? You mean, I’d be “happier with” it?

SC: Yes. And if you ever tried maximally sweet chocolate, you’d be maximally sweet on it. Therefore, you should surely want to maximize the sweetness of your chocolate, and everything else you eat for that matter.

GG: Somehow, I don’t feel very convinced…

SC: Well, what else could you possibly care about besides sweetness?

GG: For one thing, I enjoy the cocoa flavor in this chocolate.

SC: That doesn’t sound right. Would you want to eat a bowl of pure cocoa powder?

GG: Not really. It would be too bitter.

[...]

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First published:
October 17th, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/9jRJzyJs2ovnndezs/how-it-feels-talking-to-a-hedonistic-utilitarian

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

“How it feels talking to a hedonistic utilitarian” by Caleb Biddulph

LessWrong (30+ Karma)

“How it feels talking to a hedonistic utilitarian” by Caleb Biddulph