Want more intimacy in your relationships? Conflict could help

Conflict is a necessary skill for maintaining close, authentic relationships rather than a sign of failure. By reframing tension as a signal for growth, individuals can move beyond unhealthy avoidance or destructive escalation toward "healthy heat." Conflict resolution facilitator Priya Parker, author of *The Art of Fighting*, emphasizes that successful engagement requires preparation, such as identifying personal needs and setting clear terms before entering a difficult conversation. For instance, using a "clearing" instead of a vague "catch-up" allows parties to address underlying rifts directly. Furthermore, scheduling regular check-ins—similar to dental hygiene—can de-escalate anxiety for those who are conflict-averse. Ultimately, choosing one's battles by assessing the value of a relationship and the potential for change enables people to navigate modern group life with greater intention and clarity.