In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here:

https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/worksheets

Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?":

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-cant-i-get-over-it/id1588419386?i=1000648061670

Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit:

https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit

Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0

Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/building-self-esteem-how-learning-from-shame-helps-us-to-grow-joseph-burgo/e95fb867f0e1daf7?ean=9780997592023&next=t&

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t&

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up

Submit a Listener Question:

https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

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When Shame Blocks Repair

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

When Shame Blocks Repair