That stomach-drop feeling before a hard conversation? It's not weakness. It's your brain doing exactly what it was designed to do. Emotional intelligence expert Amy Jacobson breaks down the neuroscience of avoidance, the exact questions to ask before you say anything difficult, and why the conversation you've been dreading might be the most important one you ever have.

Guest Bio

Amy Jacobson is an emotional intelligence and human behavior specialist delivering programs, keynotes, and workshops across Australia and internationally. She is a twice Wiley-published author of Emotional Intelligence: A Simple and Actionable Guide to Increasing Performance, Engagement and Ownership and The Emotional Intelligence Advantage: Mastering Change and Difficult Conversations.

Conversation Topics

(00:00) Why humans are wired to avoid difficult conversations
(02:32) The role of the amygdala and fear of the unknown
(06:00) How our brain deprioritizes hard conversations to protect us
(07:12) What actually counts as a "difficult conversation"
(08:18) The difference between a difficult conversation and a difficult delivery
(09:38) Why curiosity is the most important tool in a first conversation
(10:21) Why you should never over-prepare for a first conversation
(15:16) The Ask, Ask, Tell framework
(16:41) How to remove emotion and get factual when someone won't own it
(19:29) Separating the person from the role
(21:27) Real-world story: a leader in the wrong role
(27:45) What a follow-up conversation must include: the consequence
(29:42) Great manager shoutout: Tina Fisher

Additional Resources

✨ Read the full transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AK1zgeJoKYqMWkNmGM-p-QkWz27Sd_p8_QxFqoRTf8U/edit?usp=sharing

✨ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadershipwithmamie/

✨ Visit my website for more: https://www.themodernmanager.com/

✨ Subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7jhYz8b16g1SsLia4EhO5w?sub_confirmation=1

Keep up with Amy Jacobson

Website: https://amyjacobson.com.au/
Book: The Emotional Intelligence Advantage — https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Advantage-Mastering-Conversations/dp/1394337949
Free eBook: https://app.box.com/s/0yjaellmagoc8dyceu5bdyndk4uoku6x
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-jacobson-emotional-intelligence/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyjacobson_ei
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/findingyoury/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3tV1e6qV8EHqmA7_RFnPTw

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The Modern Manager is a leadership podcast that helps you close the gap between knowing what good management is and actually doing it. Follow The Modern Manager on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode!

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422: Turn Uncomfortable Conversations into Just Conversations with Amy Jacobson

The Modern Manager

422: Turn Uncomfortable Conversations into Just Conversations with Amy Jacobson