Encore: How living with secrets can harm you, with Michael Slepian, PhD

Secrets function as persistent mental burdens that weigh on individuals primarily through constant rumination rather than the occasional need for concealment. Research indicates that the average person maintains 13 secrets simultaneously, with five never shared with anyone. While secrecy is often associated with guilt, the feeling of shame—viewing oneself as a fundamentally bad person—is significantly more damaging to psychological well-being. Dr. Michael Slepian, an expert in the psychology of secrets at Columbia Business School, identifies the isolation of keeping secrets as the primary barrier to healthy processing. Engaging a third party to share these burdens breaks the cycle of harmful rumination by providing a fresh perspective. Although people often fear negative reactions, most disclosures are met with support, serving as a powerful tool for building intimacy and reducing the psychological toll of hidden information.