Your mind does not just record reality, it edits it, polarizes it, and then makes decisions based on the edit. That is why we can feel certain we are “right” while repeating the same relationship patterns, motivation struggles, and self-sabotaging habits. We welcome world-renowned human behavior expert Dr. John DiMartini to unpack a practical way out: the DiMartini Method, a structured series of cognitive questions designed to balance perception, surface what we have been unconscious of, and turn apparent chaos into usable feedback.

We talk about how quickly we can idealize or demonize people by staying conscious of upsides and unconscious of downsides, and how that split perception fuels infatuation, resentment, and regret. Dr. DiMartini shares how asking higher-quality questions can equilibrate the mind, reduce emotional reactivity, and help us become more present so life feels “on the way, not in the way.” If you care about mindfulness, emotional resilience, and personal transformation, this is a concrete framework you can apply immediately.

From there, we go deep into values based living and why your hierarchy of values quietly runs your goals, your habits, and your sense of self-worth. Dr. DiMartini explains the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation, why misaligned goals require constant pushing, and how adopting someone else’s “shoulds” can erode authenticity. He also points to his free values determination process at drdmartin.com as a way to clarify what truly matters, set congruent goals, and fill your days with high-priority actions instead of low-priority distractions.

If this conversation helps you see your patterns more clearly, subscribe for more practical mindfulness tools, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more listeners can find it.

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ABOUT THE SHOW

Mindfulness Exercises with Sean Fargo is a practical, grounded mindfulness podcast for people who want meditation to actually help in real life.

Hosted by Sean Fargo — a former Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, and founder of MindfulnessExercises.com — the show explores how mindfulness can support mental health, emotional regulation, trauma sensitivity, chronic pain, leadership, creativity, and meaningful work.

Each episode offers a mix o...

Are Your Goals Truly Yours Or Borrowed Values?

Mindfulness Exercises, with Sean Fargo

Are Your Goals Truly Yours Or Borrowed Values?