One of the things I love about parenting is being frequently reminded how many things are not the default for most people. While I see this most clearly in my 11-year-olds, I also see it in other adults as well as in myself. One of these human defaults that I think is worth improving upon is the instinct to “trust” your feelings, i.e. act on them without much consideration of:

Is the surface level source of the feeling accurate?
Is my gut reaction based on this feeling helpful?

What is the Source of My Feeling?

We are often wrong about the source of our feelings, whether because we’re hangry, sleep-deprived, stressed, or in any other altered state that changes our typical reactions. When you’re very hungry, someone doing something relatively innocuous can result in you getting angry at them. The biggest contributor to your anger is not actually the actions you’re responding to (since under normal circumstances you wouldn’t react with anger) - it's the fact that you’re hungry.

Other times we might be right about the general source, but getting specific is necessary to productively act on the feeling:

You’re afraid of attempting some physical feat [...]

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Outline:

(00:40) What is the Source of My Feeling?

(01:40) How Should I React to My Feeling?

(03:41) Applications to Physical as Well as Emotional Feelings

(05:45) Choosing Your Actions is Beneficial

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First published:
July 2nd, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/oBDiiR8C6tNaepxbi/you-should-choose-how-you-react-to-your-feelings

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

“You Should Choose How You React to Your Feelings” by Nate Sharpe

LessWrong (30+ Karma)

“You Should Choose How You React to Your Feelings” by Nate Sharpe