We all want two things that can seem at odds with each other: to be our own person and to belong. We want to stand apart from the crowd, but we also want to be connected to it. When that balance gets out of whack, we either lose ourselves in tribalism or drift into isolation.

My guest today says many of the problems in modern life stem from our inability to hold these two impulses in tension. His name is Luke Burgis, and he’s the author of The One and the 99: Forging Identity in the Age of Social Contagion. Today on the show, Luke explains how becoming a true individual can give you the strength to be a part of a community. We discuss the difference between a solid self and a pseudo self — and what role families and rites of passage can play in moving us toward one or the other — why modern politics feels like a dysfunctional family, the dangers of performative religion, and much more.

Connect With Luke Burgis

Luke’s website

Timestamps

0:00 Introduction

0:54 Guest Intro: Luke Burgis & The One and the 99

4:48 The Parable of the Lost Sheep & the Book's Framework

10:17 Defining the Self (vs. Identity & Soul)

14:37 The Pseudo Self Explained

19:40 How to Develop a Solid Self

25:35 Louis L'Amour & Education for a Solid Self

28:18 Curiositas vs. Studiositas (Ordered vs. Disordered Knowledge)

44:30 Tribalism, Politics, & the Pseudo Self

45:08 How Undifferentiation Fuels Political Dysfunction

51:13 Religion, Performative Piety & the Digital World

54:15 What Monasteries Teach Us About Community & Solid Selves

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Belonging Without Conforming — The Path From Pseudo Self to Solid Self

The Art of Manliness

Belonging Without Conforming — The Path From Pseudo Self to Solid Self