Today I spoke with Will Storr, one of my favorite writers. If you haven’t yet, I strongly recommend subscribing to his Substack. Will is the author of many excellent books, including The Status Game, The Science of Storytelling, and most recently, A Story is a Deal.

We did a livestream today covering a lot of ground:

* Why so many men struggle with perfectionism, identity, and failure—and how those pressures can lead to quiet despair. Will’s 2015 essay about this here

* Will breaks down why, when it comes to good stories, people care more about character than plot

* How the best stories constantly shift your perception of a character—making you ask, “Who is this person, really?”

* Will shares how status and storytelling are connected—and how understanding that can help you both tell better stories and understand social life.

* The most successful stories aren’t built on perfect structure, but on powerful reversals—emotional whiplash seems to outperform classical plot arcs like the hero’s journey

* Why the best storytelling isn't about showing off—it's about stripping away everything that doesn't serve the story

* Will digs into how people instinctively cast themselves as the hero, and how good writing demands you challenge that instinct

* I share how writing Troubled forced me to second-guess my motives, especially the parts that made me look good. Many of those stories were left on the cutting room floor

* Whether humans are naturally wired to see life as a story—or if that’s something we learn from books, movies, and culture.

* I share the results of a study suggesting we give more moral credit to people who do the right thing despite temptation, not because it comes naturally

* We then shift to the psychology of social status

* Inverting status symbols is its own flex. Modern aristocrats drive beat-up BMWs and Land Rovers to signal they’re above consumer signaling. Relatedly, I wrote about counter-signaling here

* We discuss the differences between power, prestige, and dominance

* Will suggests there are 3 ways to earn status: through competence, virtue, or dominance. Each domain has different rules

* People strive for status, even if they have no conscious awareness of this. I suggest this is akin to a spider weaving a web. The spider doesn’t “know” why it does this. It acts on instinct honed through millions of years of evolution

* Will tells me about the secret unmarked lounges in airports, reserved exclusively for VIPs and the highest tier frequent fliers

* Progressive activists—a small, affluent, hyper-educated, and disproportionately white group—are the most likely to endorse luxury beliefs and dominate ideological discourse on social media

* Even in luxury settings, people with a strong desire for status struggle to relax. Success often stems from an unrelenting need to prove yourself, even while on vacation

* I suggest that the style of self-help messaging that says “You are enough” may be helpful for ambitious and conscientious elites—but harmful for average people, who need more self-discipline and drive, not less

* Will points out that people tend to believe they deserve more status than they currently have—a subtle but universal underdog narrative that fuels both ambition and resentment

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Luxury Lounges and Status Games

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Luxury Lounges and Status Games