Perfectionism Isn't High Standards. It's Hurting Your Kid

Perfectionism functions as a maladaptive way of existing in the world, rooted in a sense of deficit and shame rather than high standards. Professor Thomas Curran, an expert in the field and author of *The Perfection Trap*, argues that perfectionism is not a driver of success but a source of emotional distress, burnout, and self-handicapping behaviors. Because perfection is an unattainable goal, the relentless pursuit of it often leads to anxiety and depression, particularly among young people facing intense cultural and economic pressures. Parents can mitigate these negative outcomes by fostering a genuine love for learning rather than focusing on grades or metrics, and by ensuring that their approval remains unconditional regardless of a child's accomplishments. Calibrating expectations to avoid keeping children constantly on their tiptoes prevents the internalization of self-worth based solely on performance.