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Our teens are growing up in a world of TikTok, You Tube and Instagram, places full of barely dressed people talking freely about body positivity and sex. It’s hardly surprising that they might have a different view of what’s acceptable from that of their parents.

In the UK, sex is legal at age 16, but any sexual images of a person under 18 are deemed child pornography, even when the person sending them is the creator.

Research compiled in the UK for Cultureframed.org:

1 in 7 under 18’s sends sext messages; 1 in 4 receives them. 1 in 8 who received a message has sent it to others without the sender’s consent.

Internet Watch Foundation, confirmed 68k cases of self-generated imagery that needed to be removed in 2020 – up 77% on the previous year.

In 80% of these cases, the victims were 11 to 13-year-old girls. Fewer than 8% of young women send nude pics because they genuinely want to.

Book: When You Lose It, Roxy and Gay Longworth.

Why do they sext?

Seeking someone’s approval
Long distance/online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationship
Feeling confident in their looks and they want to share with other people
Peer pressure
Fun
As a result of harassment, threats or blackmail

What to do?
Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent. Use open questions, actively listen, and never be shocked.

What do they post about themselves?
What sites do they use and what draws them there?
What types of attention are they looking for online and from whom?
How do they decide what information to share?

Set clear guidelines and firewalls.

Boys?
Adolescent boys are under enormous pressure to impress their peers.

Ask boys why they would feel entitled to ask for these photos, knowing the pitfalls.
Ask them what pressures they feel from their friends and porn culture.
Do they know that it’s illegal to disseminate or ask for nude images of under age people?

If something's happened:

Speak to the school and parents of the other teenager to the get the material removed.
The IWF can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.
Tell your girls about the #gurlsoutloud support hashtag.
A free service to remove pictures of under 18’s online. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/

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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

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