Turning Disconnection into Intimacy with Mona Barbera

Mona Barbera, a psychologist specializing in couples therapy and IFS, shares insights from her book, "Bring Yourself to Love," and her extensive experience. The discussion centers on navigating conflict in relationships, emphasizing that the goal isn't to "win" but to foster connection. Mona introduces three strategies for de-escalating fights: taking 100% responsibility, initiating a "do-over" to reframe interactions, and "giving better back" by offering what one desires, such as listening. Mona also explores the concept of "choosing the challenge" in a relationship, viewing partners as catalysts for personal growth. She differentiates between firefighter, managerial, and exile relationship dynamics, advocating for internal exploration to understand the parts that drive relationship choices.