Summary

When you hear the word negotiation, what comes to mind?

A boardroom showdown? A salary discussion?

In this episode, Andy welcomes back Dr. Mike Clayton, author of How to Negotiate: Practical and Proven Skills to Help You Strike Better Deals to unpack the truth about negotiating. Mike brings clarity, wisdom, and practicality to a skill that project managers and frontline leaders use more often than they might realize.

In this conversation, you'll learn why negotiation is not a talent you're born with. Rather, it's a skill you can build. Mike explains how to prepare effectively, how to open conversations the right way, and how to bargain in ways that foster agreement, not conflict. You'll discover surprising examples of everyday negotiations, phrases that help (and hurt) rapport, and even ideas to help your kids become more confident negotiators. If you're looking for insights on how to lead through conversations that matter, this episode is for you!

Sound Bites

“Negotiation is a process of searching for an agreement that satisfies both parties.”
“You can become a good negotiator the same way you become a good leader: by learning and practicing.”
“Building agreement on agreement is easier than building agreement on disagreement.”
"What will you get when you’ve got it? Because that’s the motivator."
“If we respect each other and follow a process, we can negotiate even in tough situations.”
“The phrases that are best for building rapport are questions.”
“Signposting the junction means alerting our counterparty that we think we’re coming to the point where we need to stop.”
“Your credibility is currency. Character and trust are foundational in negotiation.”
“Almost every conversation where two people want different things is a negotiation.”
“It's okay to negotiate. It's okay to walk away. And it's okay to not always win.”

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
01:54 Start of Interview
02:00 Do You Think of Yourself as a Natural Negotiator?
03:44 What Do You Say to People Who Feel They’re Not Good at Negotiating?
05:52 What Are Some Common Myths About Negotiation?
09:28 How Do You Define Negotiation?
11:35 What Are Some Everyday Examples of Negotiation?
16:02 The Importance of Preparation—What Questions Should We Ask?
21:33 The Power of “What Will You Get When You’ve Got It?”
24:36 Mistakes People Make at the Start of a Negotiation
27:34 How to Open with Confidence—Even with Cultural Differences
33:00 Dressing for Negotiation and Building Early Credibility
37:00 Building Agreement on Agreement
41:20 Phrases That Help—and Hurt—Rapport
45:52 What Does It Mean to “Signpost the Junction” in Closing?
49:00 Why “Establishing Character” Matters in Negotiation
52:10 How Can Parents Help Their Kids Learn to Negotiate?
56:30 End of Interview
57:00 Andy Comments After the Interview
60:00 Outtakes

Learn More

You can find Mike’s content and negotiation advice at his YouTube channel: OnlinePMCourses.

For more learning on negotiation, check out these episodes:

Episode 444 with Rick Czaplewski, who provides negotiating secrets for project managers
Episode 412 with Scott Walker, who provides insights from a former hostage negotiator
Episode 148 with Dan Shapiro: High-stakes negotiation from a Harvard expert

Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast!

Talent Triangle: Power Skills

Topics: Leadership, Negotiation, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Project Management, Influence, Rapport Building, Conflict Resolution, Trust, Team Collaboration, Process Thinking, Parenting

The following music was used for this episode:

Music: Summer Awakening by Frank Schroeter
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Music: Chillhouse by Frank Schroeter
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

PPP 471 | How to Handle Everyday Negotiations Like a Pro, with Dr. Mike Clayton

People and Projects Podcast: Project Management Podcast

PPP 471 | How to Handle Everyday Negotiations Like a Pro, with Dr. Mike Clayton