In certain circumstances, apologizing can also be a countersignalling power-move, i.e. “I am so high status that I can grovel a bit without anybody mistaking me for a general groveller”. But that's not really the type of move this post is focused on.There's this narrative about a tradeoff between:

The virtue of Saying Oops, early and often, correcting course rather than continuing to pour oneself into a losing bet, vs
The loss of social status one suffers by admitting defeat, rather than spinning things as a win or at least a minor setback, or defending oneself.

In an ideal world - goes the narrative - social status mechanisms would reward people for publicly updating, rather than defending or spinning their every mistake. But alas, that's not how the world actually works, so as individuals we’re stuck making difficult tradeoffs.

I claim that this narrative is missing a key piece. [...]

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Outline:

(01:16) Mistake/Misdeed + Apology can be Net Gainful to Social Status

(05:59) Apology-Adjacent Things

(08:24) Takeaways

The original text contained 2 footnotes which were omitted from this narration.

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First published:
January 2nd, 2024

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/xiTLBuhEMmoyeor6D/apologizing-is-a-core-rationalist-skill

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

“Apologizing is a Core Rationalist Skill” by johnswentworth

LessWrong (30+ Karma)

“Apologizing is a Core Rationalist Skill” by johnswentworth