Why You’re Obsessed, Anxious, & Still Single - Mercedes Coffman - #1092

Modern dating culture reinforces emotional unavailability, creating an environment where "avoidant culture"—the tendency to shun inconvenience and discomfort—prevents deep, consistent connections. This dynamic disproportionately harms emotionally available individuals, who often find themselves trapped in cycles of dopamine-driven intensity followed by withdrawal, leading to nervous system dysregulation and chronic loneliness. Dating apps exacerbate this by prioritizing speed and novelty over substance, effectively punishing those seeking long-term commitment. To navigate this landscape, individuals must practice "romantic discernment," treating themselves as future drug addicts by pacing access, matching effort, and observing patterns rather than potential. Ultimately, building emotional capacity requires the courage to sit through discomfort and prioritize self-regulation, as relying on external validation or attempting to "fix" unavailable partners only perpetuates self-abandonment and prevents the development of healthy, sustainable relationships.