[Author's note: this post is the narrative version that explains my journey with OCD and how I treated it. The short version provides quick, actionable advice for treating OCD.]

The following is the most painful experience I've ever had.

Four years ago in the parking lot of my rock climbing gym…

…my heart was pumping out of my chest, I was sweating profusely, and an overwhelming sense of panic and impending doom had a vice grip on my soul. A painful death was surely imminent. I felt like I was defusing a bomb that was on the verge of exploding.

In reality, I was standing outside of my car after locking it with only one *beep* of my key fob, instead of my normal 5-6 *beeps* I usually do.

The reason I undertook this (basically suicidal) task was because it was getting annoying how many more *beeps* it was taking for my car to feel locked. It used to be only 2-3 *beeps* a few years ago. Now it was 5-6. In a few more years, it might take as many as 10-20 *beeps*.

One time on a hike with friends, a sense of panic overcame me. [...]

---

Outline:

(00:24) The following is the most painful experience Ive ever had.

(07:34) OCD

(12:28) Deconstructing OCD into its two parts

(12:49) (1) Severe Anxiety

(15:53) (2) Disordered Thoughts

(18:06) My dating life

(23:34) So what caused me to finally get help with my OCD?

(26:22) Solutions

(28:39) Panic Meditation

(41:31) Three mini-examples of my improvement

(41:35) A) Panic at the grocery store (and no, sadly, not Panic! At The Disco)

(42:30) B) Moral OCD at the gym

(43:49) C) Disordered thoughts while on a date

(50:35) Where Im at today

(58:41) Further resources

---

First published:
April 18th, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/fgDqnwQj3AP9mKRRG/having-ocd-is-like-living-in-north-korea-here-s-how-i

---

Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

---

Images from the article:

Diagram showing the cycle of obsessive-compulsive disorder with underlying dread.

Apple Podcasts and Spotify do not show images in the episode description. Try Pocket Casts, or another podcast app.

“Having OCD is like living in North Korea (Here’s how I escaped)” by Declan Molony

LessWrong (30+ Karma)