This was originally a Patreon-exclusive bonus episode, and fits into season 1 between episodes 27 and 28.

Tammi and Olivia talk about what's been happening in the voicemails, and Kat and Jess rehearse a play with a somewhat eccentric drama school director.

Please check out Y2K Productions new sci-fi audio drama Chaika https://y2kpod.com/chaika/ - you can subscribe now in your favourite podcatcher by searching for 'Chaika'.

Want to support Y2K, Chaika and Y2K Productions? We adore you amazing human! You can support us on Patreon from only 1 USD and get early episode releases, plus lots of other goodies such as exclusive episodes and behind-the-scenes content, please go to patreon.com/y2kpod to check it out.

Transcript below. Don't miss the bloopers after the end credits!

Cast:

OLIVIA - Kirsty Woolven (she/her) http://twitter.com/kirstywoolven

TAMMI - Anna Jartin (she/her) y2kpod@gmail.com

DRAMA SCHOOL DIRECTOR - Sarah Golding (she/her) https://quirkyvoices.weebly.com/

KAT - Janis Westin (she/her) y2kpod@gmail.com

JESS - Karin Heimdahl (she/her) https://twitter.com/karinheim

INTRO NARRATOR - Emma Laslett (she/they) https://twitter.com/Waruce

Written, produced and directed by Karin Heimdahl (she/her).

Intro and outro music is created and recorded by Jake Haws, check out his podcast Making Music with Jake Haws to hear more.

For more information please visit y2kpod.com. You can also find us on twitter, instagram and facebook @Y2Kpod,or e-mail us at Y2Kpod@gmail.com

Looking for merch? We have it! Check out Y2Kpod.com/merch

Blue fireworks image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay (https://pixabay.com/users/geralt-9301).

℗ 2019 Karin Heimdahl

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TRANSCRIPTTammi's Takeover - Patreon Bonus Episode 2: You think I’m typecast

(INTRO MUSIC)

Scene B2:1

TAMMI

Hello and welcome to Tammi’s Takeover – our very special show just for Patreon supporters of Y2K! I’m Tammi, and with me is of course Olivia...

OLIVIA

Hello everyone!

TAMMI

So excited to take over again!

OLIVIA

(laughs) I’m glad you are! I couldn’t do this on top of everything else.

TAMMI

Happy to. So, a lot has been happening in the voicemails lately.

OLIVIA

Oh yes.

TAMMI

How do you feel about it all?

OLIVIA

I feel... relieved that I am not trying to keep so many secrets anymore. (beat) And awful about Kat’s miscarriage, of course.

TAMMI

Yes. Did you know that would happen?

OLIVIA

No! I mean, I knew she doesn’t have a kid my age, but I knew nothing about the miscarriage. Not really the sort of thing she would talk to a child about, I suppose. And by the time I was grown up, it was so long ago.

TAMMI

But that means you knew something would happen.

OLIVIA

I did. And I was waiting for it – dreading it. But I couldn’t know when it would happen. And of course I *did* think she could have had a child and then put them up for adoption, too.

TAMMI

Oh... Didn’t think of that. So you were surprised when Kat announced she was pregnant in the voicemails?

OLIVIA

More like shocked. I was waiting for my mama – Rachel – to start talking about being pregnant, and sort of mentally preparing for telling the listeners, and then all of a sudden Kat is pregnant instead.

TAMMI

I can imagine. So, you call Rachel your mama-

OLIVIA

And Jess my mum, yeah. I don’t know if my parents planned that or if it just happened, but it’s handy for keeping them straight.

TAMMI

(raucous laughter) Straight?

OLIVIA

(joins in the laughter) Oh dear. *That* came out wrong.

TAMMI

(still laughing) Came out?

OLIVIA

(laughs again) Stop it!

TAMMI

(laughter winding down) OK. Fine. Where were we?

OLIVIA

(still a little giggly) I don’t know.

TAMMI

(slight laughter left) Guess it’s my job to... take over and check what we are supposed to be talking about... (paper rustling, deep breath) Right. Yes. We talked about this last episode, you found something special for us to include today, right Olivia?

OLIVIA

I did! In a different folder of my mum’s old computer I found some recordings of Kat and Jess from drama school. They start off serious but it’s a rehearsal so I think there’s some silly stuff too.

TAMMI

Fun! What are they rehearsing?

OLIVIA

A play called House of Bernarda Alba by a Spanish playwright (paper rustles) Federico Garcia Lorca. I’d never heard of it – googled and it seems to be a pretty depressing story about a group of sisters in 1930’s Spain. But it’s all women which is pretty cool.

TAMMI

Yeah – that must be unusual for the time. All right, let’s listen!

Scene B2:2

(click, dramatic music?)

DIRECTOR

(claps hands twice) Right, everyone, we’re doing the scene with Amelia and Martirio, everyone else can take 30, you lucky bastards. (sound of group of actors leaving, low chatting (all female), doors closing) Right. So where are you when this scene begins?

KAT

Um... (script rustles) I’m at the table, doing some mending.

JESS

Me too.

DIRECTOR

All right, all right, good. Places. (sound of movement, wooden chairs, sitting down) Whenever you’re ready, you can... start.

KAT (as AMELIA)

(sighs) I no longer know if it’s better to have a fiancé or not.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

It makes no difference.

KAT (as AMELIA)

It’s all the gossip that’s to blame, they won’t let you live. Adelaida must have had a bad time of it.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

(uncertain) They’re afraid of mother. She’s the only one who knows the truth about Adelaida’s father and how he got his land. Whenever she comes here, mother sticks the knife in. Her father killed his first wife’s husband, in Cuba, to marry-

DIRECTOR

Right. Thank you. All right. Um. You know. It sounds like you’re reading a grocery list, Jess, and it’s not a good one, y’know? ‘S... just full of oranges. Just... C’mon!

JESS

(frustrated sound) All right.

DIRECTOR

This is one of those lines that you have to (makes grunting noise), you have to (makes grunting noise), yes, you see? You have to inject some interest into it, because it’s all exposition. Right? You got that?

JESS

(scribbles on script) Right.

DIRECTOR

And you know it’s a, it’s a dramatic story, it’s not a... you know, it’s not a introverts festival- It’s just... Look, do we have a hat anywhere? (rummages around) Do we have a hat? Do we have a hat somewhere? Yes! Here! (throws it at JESS, she catches it) Right. OK. So- Put that on. Right. Now do the scene from the top, but stand over here. Kat, your job, right, if you’re willing to accept it, is to grab the hat.

KAT

(smiles) OK.

DIRECTOR

Right. And Jess, right, you, you cannot let her grab it.

JESS

(smiles) Got it.

DIRECTOR

Whenever you’re ready.

(sound of tussle and slight giggles, also scripts being waved around, throughout scene, BOTH much quicker and more energetic)

KAT (as AMELIA)

I no longer know if it’s better to have a fiancé or not.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

It makes no difference.

KAT (as AMELIA)

It’s all the gossip that’s to blame, they won’t let you live. Adelaida must have had a bad time of it.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

They’re afraid of mother. She’s the only one who knows the truth about Adelaida’s father and how he got his land. Whenever she comes here, mother sticks the knife in. Her father killed his first wife’s husband, in Cuba, to marry the wife. Then he abandoned her here, and went off with another woman who had a daughter, and *then* had an affair with the daughter, Adelaida’s mother, and married *her* when the second wife died insane.

DIRECTOR

Thank you! Better. Right. Jess, Jess, Jess, Jess, come here, come here, could you feel the difference, yes?

JESS

Yes!

DIRECTOR

Yes, good. Good, good, good. Right. Now you need to keep that energy, both of you, OK, but now get into the emotions of the scenes, right. Now, can’t have you sitting down. Um... (script pages rustling) Jess, you stand up, right, and you go down stage left on “It makes no difference”. OK, do that.

JESS

Yep. (scribbles on script)

DIRECTOR

OK, good. Aah, and Kat, um, can you follow her on “It’s all the gossip...” so you end up here. (sounds of moving around) Like this. OK? No... That’s right, good. More hip. Good, lovely.

KAT

OK. (scribbles on script)

DIRECTOR

Take it from “And why is the wretch...”, Kat.

KAT

Where? (script pages rustling) Oh. OK.

DIRECTOR

Whenever you’re ready. (pause) OK, come on. Whenever you’re ready.

KAT (as AMELIA)

And why is that wretch not in jail?

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

Because men cover up things like that among themselves, and no one’s willing to speak out.

KAT (as AMELIA)

But Adelaida’s not to blame for all that.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

No, but stories are repeated. And to me it all seems one dreadful repetition. Her fate is the same as her mother’s and her grandmother’s, both wives of the man who engendered her. (stops) Wait, “engendered”? (beat) Oh, gross! Three generations of women forced into incest.

(sound of disgust from KAT)

DIRECTOR

Yes! Yes, exactly. Save your disgust for Martirio, OK? From, c’mon let’s go from “Her fate is...”

JESS

Sorry. (clears throat) Her fate is the same as her mother’s and her grandmother’s, both wives of the man who engendered her.

KAT (as AMELIA)

What a terrible thing!

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

It’s better never to see a man. Since childhood they make me afraid. I’d see them in the yard yoking the oxen and lifting the sacks of wheat, shouting and stamping, and I was always afraid of growing up and suddenly finding myself in their arms. God has made me weak and ugly and has kept them away from me.

KAT (as AMELIA)

Don’t say such things! Enrique Humanes was after you and he liked you.

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

People invent things! Once I stood by the window in my nightgown till dawn, because his farmhand’s daughter told me he was going to stop by, but he never came. It was all talk. Then he married another girl with more money than I.

KAT (as AMELIA)

And she, as ugly as the devil!

JESS (as MARTIRIO)

What does beauty matter to them? What matters are land, oxen, and a submissive bitch to fetch them their food.

KAT (as AMELIA)

Ay!

DIRECTOR

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you- Lovely. Right. Hm... (script pages rustling)

JESS

(laughs, to KAT) I love Amelia - “Ay”!

KAT

(laughs, to JESS) Yes! And Martirio – “submissive bitch”.

JESS

Yeah – you think I’m typecast? “Better never to see a man”?

KAT

(smiles) Probably. Hang on. You feeling “ugly and weak”?

JESS

(laughs) Well...

DIRECTOR

All right, OK, from the top. Kat, I want you to really think about Amelia’s objective here – OK, what does she want? Right, and Jess, a little... (fades out)

(dramatic music?, click)

Scene B2:3

TAMMI

That was fun!

OLIVIA

Yes! Though seems like an awful story.

TAMMI

It does. Though – in that horrible line about the father killing the wives and marrying the daughters... I’ve been listening to this podcast called My Dad Wrote a Porno lately – have you heard it?

OLIVIA

Yes – it’s huge – millions of listeners.

TAMMI

And SO funny!

OLIVIA

Mm. Not quite my cup of tea, but sure.

TAMMI

I love it. Anyway, I kept hearing that line read as part of the confusing narrative of Belinda Blinked – “Her father killed his first wife in Cuba and married the daughter and abandoned her and then his second wives first cousin’s uncle...”

(BOTH laugh)

OLIVIA

Not *quite* as much sex in this play, though.

TAMMI

No. At least not in the scene we heard!

OLIVIA

True!

TAMMI

All right, better wrap this up. Anything you want to say before we go?

OLIVIA

Thank you, Patreon supporters, again and always. You support means so much.

TAMMI

Yes. Thank you! I will take over again in about three months! Bye!

OLIVIA

Bye!

(OUTRO)

(BLOOPERS)

(OUTRO MUSIC)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 Patreon Bonus Episode 2 - Tammi’s Takeover: You think I’m typecast

Y2K Audio Drama