tl;dr: with multiple agents, control attempts tend to create conflict, because control attempts shut down communications channels, which leads to feedback loops in the form of intensifying tug-of-war over variables. intentionally relaxing control to better understand the other agents can break the cycle, and forms the basis of many therapeutic and mediation techniques.

[epistemic status: mostly quite confident based on experience, but making a fair few claims i'm not giving the full justification and reasoning trace for, please check this against your experience and try it out rather than expecting me to prove it here]

Control in multiplayer settings

When multiple agents try to control[1] the same variable to different set points, they don't just waste resources in zero-sum competition, they also tend to close up their information-sharing surfaces in a way that blinds them both to a wider space of possibilities.

Each agent's attempts to adjust reality to their goal-models land as painful prediction error for another who has different preferences, leading to "weaken the other agent" as an instrumentally convergent goal. When incoming information might be an attack vector, closing communication channels becomes instrumentally convergent,[2] but those very channels were the ones needed to accurately model each [...]

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Outline:

(00:48) Control in multiplayer settings

(01:56) Opening - An escape from control cycles

(03:02) But the variable is in the wrong place!

(04:39) The Evolution of Integration

The original text contained 4 footnotes which were omitted from this narration.

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First published:
April 10th, 2026

Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Wstw6zmc9gszpANnc/why-control-creates-conflict-and-when-to-open-instead

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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.

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Images from the article:

Maze drawn on chalkboard with two stick figures and a star.

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“Why Control Creates Conflict, and When to Open Instead” by plex

LessWrong (30+ Karma)