This week we're sharing a banger documentary from Kelly McEvers which may leave you standing, staring at a wall by the end. The podcast version of a driveway moment.

Ten years before McEvers' show Embedded hit the air, you can hear the idea for it beginning to form. Diary of a Bad Year is a bold and compelling look at why journalists risk it all for the story.

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Jay Allison financed, produced, edited and mixed this series for Transom.org. More about the piece can be found at Transom: https://transom.org/2013/diary-of-a-bad-year-a-war-correspondents-dilemma/

Original Thank You and Music Credits for Diary of a Bad Year are here:

I dedicate this piece to the lost members of the tribe and to their families. I stand forever in salute to Chris Hondros, Tim Hetherington, Gilles Jacquier, Anthony Shadid, Marie Colvin, and Remy Ochlik.

A huge thanks to those who participated in this project by agreeing to talk to me: Mark Brayne, Anthony Feinstein, Paul Wood, Anna Blundy, Jon Lee Anderson, Sebastian Junger, and Christiane Amanpour. Thanks again to the wonderful folks at Transom, who opened their houses and their hearts and reinforced my belief in the principle that if you listen, really listen, great things happen.

Thank you to my true partners in crime — Lava Selo, Rima Marrouch, and Rasha Elass — who have been by my side on every Syria story. Thank you to my dear friend and editor, Doug Roberts, who let me try weird things on the radio despite the fact that I was breaking all the rules. I am forever in his debt. Thanks to the inimitable Loren Jenkins, for believing in me after all those years of trying.

Thank you to Jonathan Blakley, who first put me in touch with Mark Brayne and who helped me understand it’s okay to talk to a counselor; to Barbara Surk and Hassan Jamali, who were with me as we were tear-gassed in Bahrain; to Noor Kelze, who first took me to the front line in Aleppo; to Manoli Wetherell, Jim Lesher, and Suzanne Lennon, who engineered and recorded interviews; to Jennifer Dargan, who helped arrange my interview with Christiane Amanpour; and to Tim Fitzsimons, Susannah George, and John Mangin, who provided early and very helpful feedback.

And perhaps the biggest thanks of all goes to my family — Steve, Claudia, and Dave McEvers — whose support is unwavering despite the pain it causes them, and to Nathan Deuel, my collaborator, my best friend, and my one great love.

Music

Thank you to Matthias Bossi, Carla Kihlstedt, and Jon Evans for the original music they composed for this piece. You can find more of their music at:

Lawless Music

Rabbit Rabbit Radio

Carla Kihlstedt

Matthias Bossi

Jon Evans

Diary of a Bad Year by Kelly McEvers and Jay Allison

The Selects Podcast