Bringing IFS to Children, Parenting, and Schools - with Lisa Spiegel and Claire Stubbs

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a transformative framework for working with children and families by shifting the focus from behavioral correction to understanding underlying protective parts. By externalizing these parts through play, art, and sand tray activities, children gain the distance necessary to develop self-compassion and reduce internal criticism. When applied to neurodiverse populations, this model requires prioritizing biological regulation—the "hardware"—before engaging with the "software" of the internal system. Furthermore, effective child therapy necessitates a family-wide approach, as parental protective parts often mirror or trigger a child's distress. Integrating IFS into school environments fosters a culture of relational safety, where educators view challenging behaviors as meaningful communication rather than resistance, ultimately replacing punitive measures with curiosity and collaborative problem-solving to support long-term social and emotional development.