The legendary psychotherapist unpacks the concept of "hostile dependency" and explains why cutting people off doesn't always work.

Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is a leading voice on modern relationships, known for her widely viewed TED Talks, bestselling books and the hit podcast. She runs a New York–based therapy practice and advises global organizations and platforms on the complexities of contemporary relationships.

Follow Esther Perel's podcast Where Should We Begin? on YouTube, Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and subscribe to Entre Nous with Esther Perel on Substack for exclusive bonus content.

In this episode we talk about:

What Esther Perel really means by eros
How modern life quietly depletes our sense of feeling alive
Why aliveness can coexist with grief, pain, and difficulty
The danger of numbness
Introverts, extroverts, and the many non-social ways we experience vitality
Vital sources of connection and meaning
Co-regulation, touch, presence, and why words alone aren't enough
"Hostile dependency" and the paradoxes of long-term relationships
Why loneliness has become normalized, and why it shouldn't be
How to rebuild community through small, practical acts
Rituals as a way to mark time, create meaning, and feel grounded
The tension between individualism, belonging, and responsibility to others

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Esther Perel: The Modern World Can Sap Your Life Force. Here's How To Recapture It.

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