Defining Healthy Masculinity & How to Build It | Terry Real | Huberman Lab

In this episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, Andrew Huberman interviews therapist Terry Real about the mental health crisis facing men today. They discuss the shifting roles of men in society, the impact of feminism, and the rise of regressive masculinity. Real emphasizes the importance of emotional connection, vulnerability, and relational skills for men to thrive in relationships and in life. He also highlights the need for men to develop healthy self-esteem and to move beyond selfishness. The conversation explores practical tools for men to express emotions, ask for help, and respond to criticism in a healthy way. Real advocates for progressive masculinity, emphasizing big-heartedness, strength, connection, and giving. They also discuss the importance of fraternity and community for men to find support and accountability.

Outlines

Part 1: Crisis, Masculinity, and Vulnerability

Part 2: Self-Esteem and Relationship Dynamics

Part 3: Psychological Tools and Mindfulness

Part 4: Community, Mentorship, and Social Roles

Part 5: Communication and Intimacy

Part 6: Wisdom, Kindness, and Conclusion

Sign in to continue reading, translating and more.

Continue

Defining Healthy Masculinity & How to Build It | Terry Real

Huberman Lab

Part 1: Crisis, Masculinity, and Vulnerability

Introduction to Men's Mental Health Crisis and Shifting Masculinity

Traditional Masculinity vs. Vulnerability and Connection

The Importance of Relationality and Overcoming Selfishness

Part 2: Self-Esteem and Relationship Dynamics

Healthy Emotional Expression and Self-Esteem

Accountability, Imperfection, and the Role of Self-Esteem in Relationships

Navigating Criticism and Promoting Relationality

Part 3: Psychological Tools and Mindfulness

The Adaptive Child and Relational Mindfulness

Managing Trauma and Responsible Distance Taking

The Importance of Relational Skills and Ecological Thinking

Part 4: Community, Mentorship, and Social Roles

The Crisis of Loneliness and the Importance of Fraternity

Finding Fraternity and Cultivating Relationality

The Importance of Mentorship and Challenging Traditional Gender Roles

The Essence of Progressive Masculinity and the Importance of Skill

The Impact of AI on Men's Roles and the Unholy Triad of Patriarchy

The Dangers of Enmeshment and the Importance of Boundaries

Part 5: Communication and Intimacy

The Importance of Subjectivity and Intimacy

The Power of 12-Step Programs and the Importance of Listening

The Dangers of Intensity and the Importance of Unstructured Time

Relational Joy and the Simplicity of Connection

Addressing Complaints and Empowering Partners

Part 6: Wisdom, Kindness, and Conclusion

The Wisdom of Elders and the Importance of Kindness

Cultivating Relationality and the Power of Kindness

The Y Chromosome and the Importance of Wholeness

Closing Remarks and Gratitude

Defining Healthy Masculinity & How to Build It | Terry Real

Huberman Lab

Part 1: Crisis, Masculinity, and Vulnerability

00:00Introduction to Men's Mental Health Crisis and Shifting Masculinity

Introduction to Men's Mental Health Crisis and Shifting Masculinity

07:39Traditional Masculinity vs. Vulnerability and Connection

Traditional Masculinity vs. Vulnerability and Connection

09:57The Importance of Relationality and Overcoming Selfishness

The Importance of Relationality and Overcoming Selfishness

Part 2: Self-Esteem and Relationship Dynamics

21:54Healthy Emotional Expression and Self-Esteem

Healthy Emotional Expression and Self-Esteem

29:54Accountability, Imperfection, and the Role of Self-Esteem in Relationships

Accountability, Imperfection, and the Role of Self-Esteem in Relationships

37:23Navigating Criticism and Promoting Relationality

Navigating Criticism and Promoting Relationality

Part 3: Psychological Tools and Mindfulness

45:26The Adaptive Child and Relational Mindfulness

The Adaptive Child and Relational Mindfulness

53:30Managing Trauma and Responsible Distance Taking

Managing Trauma and Responsible Distance Taking

1:01:41The Importance of Relational Skills and Ecological Thinking

The Importance of Relational Skills and Ecological Thinking

Part 4: Community, Mentorship, and Social Roles

1:08:12The Crisis of Loneliness and the Importance of Fraternity

The Crisis of Loneliness and the Importance of Fraternity

1:17:51Finding Fraternity and Cultivating Relationality

Finding Fraternity and Cultivating Relationality

1:25:34The Importance of Mentorship and Challenging Traditional Gender Roles

The Importance of Mentorship and Challenging Traditional Gender Roles

1:33:04The Essence of Progressive Masculinity and the Importance of Skill

The Essence of Progressive Masculinity and the Importance of Skill

1:40:40The Impact of AI on Men's Roles and the Unholy Triad of Patriarchy

The Impact of AI on Men's Roles and the Unholy Triad of Patriarchy

1:47:26The Dangers of Enmeshment and the Importance of Boundaries

The Dangers of Enmeshment and the Importance of Boundaries

Part 5: Communication and Intimacy

1:53:01The Importance of Subjectivity and Intimacy

The Importance of Subjectivity and Intimacy

2:01:10The Power of 12-Step Programs and the Importance of Listening

The Power of 12-Step Programs and the Importance of Listening

2:07:02The Dangers of Intensity and the Importance of Unstructured Time

The Dangers of Intensity and the Importance of Unstructured Time

2:13:16Relational Joy and the Simplicity of Connection

Relational Joy and the Simplicity of Connection

2:22:25Addressing Complaints and Empowering Partners

Addressing Complaints and Empowering Partners

Part 6: Wisdom, Kindness, and Conclusion

2:28:21The Wisdom of Elders and the Importance of Kindness

The Wisdom of Elders and the Importance of Kindness

2:34:14Cultivating Relationality and the Power of Kindness

Cultivating Relationality and the Power of Kindness

2:40:12The Y Chromosome and the Importance of Wholeness

The Y Chromosome and the Importance of Wholeness

2:47:53Closing Remarks and Gratitude

Closing Remarks and Gratitude