Harvard’s Behaviour Expert: The Psychology Of Why People Don't Like You!

In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO, Steven Bartlett interviews Harvard professor and behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks about the science of conversation. Brooks shares insights from her research and book, "Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves," providing actionable strategies for improving communication skills, building relationships, and navigating difficult conversations. They discuss the importance of asking questions, listening, and validating others' feelings, as well as the challenges of digital communication and the unique struggles men face in forming friendships. Brooks introduces the "TALK" framework (Topics, Asking, Levity, Kindness) and the conversational compass to help listeners become more effective and likeable communicators.

Outlines

Part 1: Introduction and Anxiety

Part 2: Conversational Compass and Receptiveness

Part 3: TALK Framework

Part 4: Listening and Vulnerability

Part 5: Digital Age and Authenticity

Part 6: Conclusion

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The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Part 1: Introduction and Anxiety

Introduction to Conversational Science and the Desire to be Liked

Overcoming Introversion, Small Talk Aversion, and Reframing Anxiety as Excitement

The Power of Positive Self-Talk and the Nervous Nelly Negotiation Study

Part 2: Conversational Compass and Receptiveness

The Conversational Compass: Goals, Apologies, and Difficult Conversations

Receptiveness to Opposing Viewpoints and Managing Difficult Conversations

The Neuroscience of Disagreement and the Importance of "Yes, and..."

Part 3: TALK Framework

Topic Preparation and the Three Levels of Likeability

The Power of Question Asking and the Fate of Zero-Question Askers

The Importance of Kindness and Managing Emotional State in Conversations

Levity, Introversion, and the Contribution Score in Group Conversations

Part 4: Listening and Vulnerability

The Importance of Listening and Vulnerability in Male Friendships

Making Friends as a Man and the Power of Validation

Persuasion, Listening, and the Importance of Real Conversations

Part 5: Digital Age and Authenticity

The Digital Age and the Loss of Real Connection

Strategic Authenticity and the Irreplaceably Human Skill of Conversation

Part 6: Conclusion

Closing Remarks and Invitation to the Inner Circle

Harvard’s Behaviour Expert: The Psychology Of Why People Don't Like You!

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Part 1: Introduction and Anxiety

00:00Introduction to Conversational Science and the Desire to be Liked

Introduction to Conversational Science and the Desire to be Liked

07:39Overcoming Introversion, Small Talk Aversion, and Reframing Anxiety as Excitement

Overcoming Introversion, Small Talk Aversion, and Reframing Anxiety as Excitement

17:09The Power of Positive Self-Talk and the Nervous Nelly Negotiation Study

The Power of Positive Self-Talk and the Nervous Nelly Negotiation Study

Part 2: Conversational Compass and Receptiveness

24:27The Conversational Compass: Goals, Apologies, and Difficult Conversations

The Conversational Compass: Goals, Apologies, and Difficult Conversations

35:15Receptiveness to Opposing Viewpoints and Managing Difficult Conversations

Receptiveness to Opposing Viewpoints and Managing Difficult Conversations

44:38The Neuroscience of Disagreement and the Importance of "Yes, and..."

The Neuroscience of Disagreement and the Importance of "Yes, and..."

Part 3: TALK Framework

54:00Topic Preparation and the Three Levels of Likeability

Topic Preparation and the Three Levels of Likeability

1:01:12The Power of Question Asking and the Fate of Zero-Question Askers

The Power of Question Asking and the Fate of Zero-Question Askers

1:11:57The Importance of Kindness and Managing Emotional State in Conversations

The Importance of Kindness and Managing Emotional State in Conversations

1:23:55Levity, Introversion, and the Contribution Score in Group Conversations

Levity, Introversion, and the Contribution Score in Group Conversations

Part 4: Listening and Vulnerability

1:35:30The Importance of Listening and Vulnerability in Male Friendships

The Importance of Listening and Vulnerability in Male Friendships

1:47:53Making Friends as a Man and the Power of Validation

Making Friends as a Man and the Power of Validation

1:57:20Persuasion, Listening, and the Importance of Real Conversations

Persuasion, Listening, and the Importance of Real Conversations

Part 5: Digital Age and Authenticity

2:07:02The Digital Age and the Loss of Real Connection

The Digital Age and the Loss of Real Connection

2:18:40Strategic Authenticity and the Irreplaceably Human Skill of Conversation

Strategic Authenticity and the Irreplaceably Human Skill of Conversation

Part 6: Conclusion

2:30:24Closing Remarks and Invitation to the Inner Circle

Closing Remarks and Invitation to the Inner Circle