How to Rebuild Self-Identity After Years of Shame

In this monologue podcast, Tim Fletcher discusses the impact of complex trauma on individuals, particularly the common issue of not knowing oneself due to shame, mask-wearing, and people-pleasing behaviors developed as survival mechanisms. He explains that children in survival mode or those forced into specific roles often don't have the opportunity to explore their interests and passions, leading to a lack of self-discovery. Tim suggests creating a safe, non-judgmental environment to explore hobbies and interests, similar to how children learn about themselves through play. He also addresses the harsh internal critic that many individuals with complex trauma develop, advocating for self-compassion as a remedy. Furthermore, he explores how shame leads individuals to seek external validation and value through achievements, appearance, or pleasing others, rather than recognizing their inherent worth and the resulting isolation and loneliness. He emphasizes the importance of finding safe connections to combat isolation and facilitate healing.