What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

One of the trickiest questions for parents is how to set expectations that help our kids thrive and grow without crushing them or making them feel low self-esteem or shame.

If we don't set expectations we run the risk of making our kids feel like nothing they do really matters, so they can feel overlooked and apathetic about life, but we've all heard about parents who damage their kids through unreasonable demands. Our expectations are born out of our own ideas of what matters, so how do we know that we're not pushing toxic ideas on to our kids?

In this episode we talk about how today's society has come expect very little of our teens, whilst seemingly piling on pressure and expecting too much. We talk about how critical the growth mind set is, the stages we go through in learning a skill, and how we parents can support out teens to grow a wide range of important skills without damaging their self-esteem in the process.

PREVIOUS EPISODES THAT ARE RELEVANT:

Episodes 5, 10, 38 & 40

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-10-helping-your-teen-navigate-friendship-groups-particularly-girls-and-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-giving-up-at-the-first-hurdle/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-5-how-do-you-motivate-a-teenager-who-isnt-very-academic-what-to-do-when-your-teenager-says-they-want-to-give-up-their-musical-instrument-or-other-activity/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/40-exam-revision-parenting-through-the-pressure/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/38-talking-to-teachers-about-your-teen-how-best-to-do-it-and-why-it-still-matters/

THE SKILL MATRIX:

Unconscious incompetence.
Conscious incompetence.
Conscious competence.
Unconscious competence.

QUESTIONS THAT WILL EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER:

Are the expectations placed upon me realistic?
Do they align with my values?
Is meeting those expectations within my control?
What and how do I communicate if the expectations are unreasonable or make me resentful?

https://www.sec-ed.co.uk/content/best-practice/nqt-special-what-do-high-expectations-actually-look-like/
https://sonyalooney.com/the-paradox-of-expectations-pressure-and-comparison-in-sport-and-life/
https://www.teachwithmrst.com/post/setting-clear-expectations
Teach Like a Champion by Doug Lemov
Marie Amaro, principal presenter at the You Tube channel the Highly Effective Teacher
https://www.psych

CTA - Follow, Five Stars, Review

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Standards: Setting high expectations without the pressure. 76

Parenting Teenagers Untangled - Understand and Talk to Your Teenager