“Parents Have Feelings, Too: Emotional Intelligence, The Change Triangle, and Healing Generational Patterns with Hilary Jacobs Hendel & Juli Fraga”

Parenting can bring deep joy—but also guilt, shame, rage, grief, and more. So what do we do with all those big feelings? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger sit down with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of It’s Not Always Depression, and Dr. Juli Fraga, psychologist and parenting educator, to discuss their brand-new book, Parents Have Feelings, Too: Using the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (out September 23, 2025).

This book is a practical, research-backed, and compassion-filled guide to help parents recognize, work through, and grow from their emotions. Together, we explore how understanding your own emotionallandscape—through tools like the Change Triangle and the 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—can break intergenerational patterns and build emotional intelligence in both you and your children.

From the hidden power of disappointment to how to befriend your defenses, this episode is full of insight, practical strategies, and affirming reminders that your feelings matter too.

In This Episode, We Explore:

A gentle, clear introduction to the Change Triangle and how it helps people process emotions

The 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—and how they lead to greater emotional freedom

What’s underneath "parent burnout" and how to move through it with clarity

Why naming and noticing your defenses can unlock self-compassion

How understanding disappointment can transform your parenting

Ways parents can model healthy emotional processing for their kids

The role of unprocessed trauma in generational parenting patterns—and how to break the cycle

Tools for parenting through anxiety, guilt, grief, and more—with authenticity and skill

Parents Have Feelings, Too is an emotional wellness playbook for parents. Drawing from the Change Triangle framework and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Hilary and Juli provide tools to help parents identify, understand, and process emotions in real time—so they can respond with calm, confidence, and connection. Through exercises, client stories, and reflection activities, this book guides readers to become more emotionally attuned parents and more authentic versions of themselves.

“With 1 in 5 moms experiencing anxiety or depression, and over 60% of parents facing burnout, this book isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary.”

RESOURCES

Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/788442/parents-have-feelings-too-by-hilary-jacobs-hendel/

Emotions Education 101 Class on Zoom for Parents:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/education-cirriculum-content/emotion-education-101

Teens, Tweens and Caregivers Curriculum to provide anEmotions Education 2-hour Introduction:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/workshops/teen-emotions-education-101%E2%84%A2

Print a PDF of the Change Triangle:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle

Change Triangle YouTube channel with tools:https://www.youtube.com/@TheChangeTriangle/videos

Follow Hilary: hilaryjacobshendel.com

Follow Juli: julifraga.com

Ep 104: Parents Have Feelings Too - a book interview with Hilary Jacobs Hendel & Juli Fraga

Regulated & Relational