Standing on stage with nothing but a microphone, Sara Pascoe knows instantly if she’s succeeded or failed. Comedy doesn’t let you hide, if the joke doesn’t land, the silence tells you.

But what makes Sara remarkable isn’t just her success as a writer, actor, and stand-up. It’s the habit she’s built to handle failure and keep showing up: Unconditional Positive Regard. The belief that your worth isn’t defined by a single mistake, a bad night, or a difficult moment.

In this episode, I share what I learned from Sara about how self-compassion fuels resilience. She shows us why the way we talk to ourselves matters more than the outcome, and how reframing failure can turn doubt into progress.

Together, we explore:

Why comedians face some of the toughest performance pressure
How to separate who you are from what you do
The psychology of Unconditional Positive Regard
How self-compassion creates lasting confidence

If you’ve ever been too hard on yourself after falling short, this episode is a reminder that high performance isn’t about being flawless. It’s about having the courage to try again, and the kindness to believe in yourself when you do.

Here is more information on the studies referenced:

The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology (Rogers, C. R. 1957)
Perceived Coach Empathy and Athlete Outcomes International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health (2023)
Alex Shevrin: Unconditional Positive Regard Video, Massachusetts Teachers Association.
Bringing Carl Rogers Back In: Exploring the Power of Positive Regard at Work, British Journal of Management, 2018

Listen to the full episode with Sara Pascoe: https://pod.fo/e/2b7c84

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