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You know that feeling when someone tells you you're "too intense" or "ask too many questions"? Lucia Kanter St. Amour has built an entire career on exactly those traits.

Lucia is a negotiation expert, law professor, and the kind of ADHD woman who writes Amazon reviews so detailed she got invited to their exclusive Vine program. She's the author of For the Forces of Good, a guide to everyday negotiation that flips traditional power dynamics, and The Covert Buccaneer, a nonlinear novel that mirrors how her ADHD brain actually works. With a background in global law and leadership at UN Women, she combines strategy with a genuine understanding of how women navigate the world.

Diagnosed with ADHD at 54 after a friend casually mentioned she'd known for decades, Lucia finally understood why she'd always felt like a "disco ball" in a world of dimmer switches. Her childhood was marked by misdiagnosed seizures (likely panic attacks from severe bullying) and years on experimental medication that left her struggling academically. But she found her superpowers in foreign languages, piano, and tennis, activities that naturally regulated her nervous system.

In this conversation, she and Tracy explore how the traits that make us feel "too much" actually become negotiation superpowers. Our intensity, emotional intelligence, and hyperfocus are assets, not liabilities. They discuss why women avoid negotiating (it's costing us over a million dollars by retirement), how to practice with everyday situations like getting your toddler to eat dinner, and why deep listening transforms every interaction. Lucia also shares her journey from hating rigid law firm work to creating negotiation tools designed specifically for ADHD brains.

Whether you're asking for a raise, navigating family dynamics, or simply wanting to be truly heard, Lucia shows that being "too much" isn't something to manage. It's your greatest strength.

Resources:

Website: https://www.pactumfactum.com/
YouTube: https://www.instagram.com/santaluciasf
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lu

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EP. 345: Stop Apologizing and Start Asking with Lucia Kanter St. Amour

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka