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What if perfectionism isn’t ambition, but a nervous system reflex for survival? In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we’re joined by returning guest Piper Rose of ShadowPlay Coaching to explore perfectionism and rejection sensitivity through a neuroscience and trauma-informed lens.

We reframe perfectionism as a high-cost survival strategy rooted in complex trauma, societal conditioning, and early nervous system adaptations. Together, Elisabeth Kristof, Jennifer Wallace, and Piper unpack how perfectionistic behaviors can emerge as reflexive responses to rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), relational trauma, and the need for social safety.

You’ll learn the neurobiology of rejection, the health costs of chronic perfectionism, and how to shift from performance and people-pleasing into embodied wholeness. The episode offers practical tools and empowering frameworks for understanding the somatic roots of perfectionism and reclaiming your internal safety and authenticity.

This is a deeply validating conversation for anyone who’s ever felt like they had to earn love, approval, or belonging through being “perfect.”

Topics discussed in this episode:

Why perfectionism is a survival response, not a personality trait
How rejection sensitivity forms in the nervous system
The difference between perfectionism and growth-oriented excellence
Why our brains respond to social rejection like physical pain
The “garden” metaphor for complex trauma and coping
How societal systems reinforce performance-based self-worth
Chronic illness and the cost of emotional suppression
The link between self-sacrifice and autoimmune conditions
Why the nervous system must be regulated before healing perfectionism
How somatic work shifts self-rejection into self-acceptance
The paradox of people-pleasing and codependency
Reclaiming energy and creativity from high-resource coping mechanisms

Explore the Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching program:

https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/

To learn more about Piper Rose and Shadow Play coaching, head to https://piperrosecoaching.com/

Connect with Piper on Instagram by heading to https://www.instagram.com/shadowplaycoaching/

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https://www.rewiretrial.com

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Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
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We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don’t warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It’s very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren’t responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast.

We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don’t verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.

We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.

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Why Perfectionism Feels Like Survival for the Rejection-Sensitive Brain

Trauma Rewired