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When you live with ADHD, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of overwhelm, shutdown, and shame. But what if there’s a way to interrupt that pattern without judgment, without spiraling, and without trying to “fix” yourself?

Vanessa Gorelkin is a licensed therapist, executive coach, and returning favorite on the podcast. With 30 years of experience across clinical care and executive leadership, she specializes in helping ADHD women find clarity, stability, and actual tools that work. In this episode, she introduces us to Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful framework that helps us make sense of our emotional chaos by getting curious instead of self-critical.

Tracy and Vanessa dive into the difference between the “manager” and “firefighter” parts of our brain, how IFS can reframe emotional dysregulation, and why so many high-achieving women with ADHD still feel like they’re “too much.” They also talk about the surprising way shame shows up in our daily lives, and how compassion is more than just self-care; it’s a powerful strategy for long-term emotional regulation.

Vanessa also shares how IFS creates space for your inner world to feel less chaotic, less punishing, and more connected. You’ll learn how identifying and working with your internal parts can build self-awareness, reduce reactive patterns, and unlock a deeper sense of agency.

Whether you’re new to IFS or already deep into parts work, this episode offers real, relatable guidance for anyone looking to create more emotional balance and self-trust.

Resources:

Website: https://vanessagorelkin.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsvanessagorelkin
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessacahngorelkin1

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EP. 337: Internal Family Systems for ADHD Women: Less Shame, More Clarity

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka