Low-scoring Inter win, was it? … Wait, what?

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete recap a truly glorious PSG performance that was basically the emotional equivalent of watching your dad getting beaten up by a runaway freight train. But the performance of the night? Clive Tyldesley seamlessly shepherding IShowSpeed into touch. Class is permanent.

After this elaborate warm-up act, we unveil your definitive guide to the biggest prize in sport: the FIFA Club World Cup aka The Gianni Infantino Invitational. Nonsensical qualifying criteria, clumsy financial meddling and boldfaced cronyism: it’s all here! Plus, we get a seismic Carabao update and Oldham Athletic win a chaotic National League play-off final!

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Well, er, we got that wrong

Football Ramble