Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible

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"Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it."

Show Notes:

Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader)
- Try to listen to others more than anyone else
- Get to KNOW the person
- 3 Skills
  - Decoding - Leaders who are able to read others accurately
  - Encoding - Your ability to send accurate signals to others... What can I do to excite others?
  - Self-Regulation
The art/science of inspiring others
We decide if someone is a winner or a loser... Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space
Charisma -- How to be instantly irresistible?
The most charismatic people
- High Warmth
- High Competence
- Must have both
- Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy
Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader?
- You do not need to be extroverted... Or a booming leader
- Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders
How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you're an introvert?
- Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths
- Don't stand in the center of the room
- Stand at a high bar table
- Low light areas
Conversation hacks:
- Sparks - The brain looks for hits, not misses
- "Anything good happen lately?
- "Working on anything exciting?"
Ask soft yes/no questions...
- "A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else"
"Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it."
"Relatability comes down to ties." -- Saying "Oh, me too" creates a tie with that person.
- "You want this, I want this..." type speeches
The 7 micro-expressions

"The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence."

Social Media:

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 071: NateBoyer - Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL

Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions

Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why

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211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk