The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Episode #263: Charlie McMahan - How To Build A Tribe From 50 To 5,000

Charlie McMahan has been the Lead Pastor of SouthBrook Church since 1992. He is driven by a deep concern for those who may feel like they don’t belong in a church and a sincere hope that anyone who struggles with faith can end up with a life that looks like the life of Jesus. He is focused on developing future leaders and spends many hours a week mentoring others (including me!).

Charlie has led SouthBrook from a small church that originally met in an elementary school to now hosting more than 5,000 members per weekend. He has a deep understanding for how to build a loyal tribe of people.

The Learning Leader Show

"The Process: Teaser, Tension, Truth, Take Home, Together."

Show Notes:

Sustaining excellence:
- Integrated people - They aren't chasing a bunch of different things
- Consolidated on the self mission
- Focused - Not distracted
Family
- Charlie's dad was gone 25 days a month (he later found out he was in the CIA)
- The reason he turns down big opportunities is because he doesn't want to travel and wants to be with his family
- Levels of communication with kids
  - Don't spend money on stuff, spend money on experiences -- Their place is Hilton Head
Process for Charlie's performances (his speeches/sermons)
- The word entertainment means "To hold people's attention"
The Process:
Most preachers were trained to be deductive... You can't do that now. You need to help them draw their own conclusions.
Finding a way to weave stories and science together
The Medici Effect - The renaissance happened because seemingly disconnected entities were connected.
"I'm always figuring out how disconnected entities connect"
"The upside of stress"
- "Emotions are like waves. You can't choose which ones come, but you can choose which to ride."
- Choose to embrace stress, it can have a positive impact on you
Create a habit of how you look at life:
- How long did it take you to put this message together? "30 hours and a lifetime."
The intersection of the reality of the struggles with Charlie's kids and applying it to the lives of the people you serve
What is it like to be the children of someone as successful as Charlie?
- "Our kids had so much pressure on them. We didn't appreciate how much it was."
  - "The Famous Father Syndrome" - Kids choose to differentiate from their parents because they can't win that game
- Advice give to parents:
  - "When you walk in the room, the temperature will go up for them. Kids need stress to grow."
  - "The stress free life is the dying life"
  - "When we walked in the room, the temperature went way up for my kids. The same heat that drove me, burned them." --> "Most parenting things you learn 5 minutes too late"
  - PLAY - Personality type, Learning style, Ability level, Yes factor -- "You don't have to cave under the pressure. It doesn't have to destroy you"
Growing a church from 50 people to 5,000 per weekend. How?
- Has to be a commitment to excellence that is YOU -- Has to be in ALL areas of your life. "Excellence is a habit."
  - "Excellence is expressing my worth... Ennobling others because I care. Perfectionism is trying to earn my worth by being perfect... And that is dangerous." Be careful to not think, "I have to be perfect or I"m not worth anything."
  - "Maturity is way underrated"
  - "Excellence comes out of peace. In excellence the process is as much of importance as the product."
  - "I don't have grammatical errors on the manuscript that nobody else ever sees."
  - "Excellence is the right people doing the right things for the right reasons."
  - "The right motivations are not so compulsive."
  - "The constant burden of leadership is the constant interception of entropy."
    - "There is constant gravitational pull to become like everyone else."
  - "Our church is for someone who doesn't like church." Why? "Because I didn't like church."
  - How do you handle the immense value of YOU as the leader? And the success moving forward without you?
    - "We're constantly in process of finding the next leader." "When you've been some place a long time, you become in the way."
      - Level 5 leader helps a place be better after they are gone
How to build a tribe?
- Max DuPree - What are your unique tribal speaks?
  - The 5 S's of SouthBrook:
    - Solitude, Scripture, Service, Support, Significant Events
- "A Tribe is where story and strategy meet."
What is it like the minute before you go on stage?
- "I used to panic. It took me 10 years to get over the "what am I doing!?"
- "Leading is so presumptuous."
- "I've never stepped behind a microphone where I didn't believe that I could save people's lives. I truly believe every word I'm saying."
- "I can't wait to share this."
- "I didn't think about public speaking until I had to give a three minute speech my junior year in college. Something happened at that speech. People leaned in."
- "Hitting the 10,000 hour mark has helped me. It's easier to prepare. I'm a huge believer in putting in the time."

Charlie writes 3,500 words per week. Then put on the iPad and have it while on stage... "I memorize that by Friday."
"I'm a master at self condemnation."
Why be so critical of yourself?
- "It can be a safety mechanism. If we self criticize, we won't get as much criticism. And it does connect with people."
Developing future leaders
- "The test of leadership is the ability to reproduce yourself in others... The good parts of yourself that should be reproduced."
- "The path from direction to delegation"
- "If I don't succeed in succession, then I will have failed."
- "You can't be a farmer, you have to be a rancher who raises up other farmers."
Ron Howard and Sam Jones -- Why Wall Street leaders hire former athletes?
- "We like to hire athletes because they lose so much. They are forced to respond to failure."
"I lose every day. I'm not good at having an accurate understanding of myself. I need people around me."
"I was a world class (basketball) shooter. I shot 96% from the free throw line."
Charlie was national player of the year.
"Grit is the only talent. Those tough moments are the character builders."
Charlie's biggest challenge today? -- "Figuring out a way to build a succession plan and not leave too soon. I live in that tension everyday."
"When I watch myself speak, I don't think it's very good."
The importance of hobbies
How does it take a toll on your when you can't please everybody?
- "Leadership is the art of disappointing people at a rate they can handle. You cannot sustain trying to please everyone. "
The importance of continued growth and having an apprentice
- PB&J
  - Have to have people ahead of you, stretch you, challenge you
  - Need people alongside you, your peers, in it together, consolidate over shared stories
  - We grow most when we have people to teach. To pour in to...
"Writing makes a person exact. If it's hazy in the podium, it will be foggy in the chair."
"If you can't listen, you can't lead."
"There is no other leader than The Learning Leader."
Use the "Get To Know You Document"

"If you don't keep growing, you will become irrelevant."

Social Media:

Follow Charlie on Twitter: @CharlieBMcMahan
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community
To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 216: Jim Collins -- How To Go From Good To Great

Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions

Episode 234: Jocko Willink -- Why Discipline Equals Freedom