How to Not Die Alone - A Dating Experts Guide | Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

In this episode, we dive into an engaging conversation with Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and relationship expert, about her book "How to Not Die Alone" and her insights from her work at Hinge. The discussion explores key dating and relationship themes, such as tackling dating blind spots, enhancing dating profiles, and recognizing the "maximizer" mindset in dating. Ury advocates a "date like a scientist" philosophy, featuring practical experiments and data-driven strategies to help listeners improve their dating experiences. Tune in for valuable advice on refining your dating tactics and strengthening your relationships.

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How to Not Die Alone - A Dating Experts Guide

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

Introduction to Logan Ury and the Podcast Topic

Logan Ury's Background and Journey into Relationship Science

Dating Coaching: Client Profile and Initial Assessment

Long-Term Dating Goals and Addressing the Fear of Dying Alone

Sponsor Message: Fabulous Self-Care App

Identifying Dating Blind Spots and Unrealistic Expectations

Common Dating Problems Among High-Achieving Singles

Objectivity in Dating and the Role of Mate Value

The Myth of Soulmates and the Importance of Effort in Relationships

Shifting from "Spark" to "Build": Re-evaluating Dating Criteria

The Secretary Problem and its Application to Dating

The Role of Female Friendships and the Importance of Actual Dating

Dating Like a Scientist: Action Steps and Profile Optimization

Addressing Common Objections to Dating Apps and Profile Strategies

Authenticity vs. Optimization on Dating Profiles

Balancing Authenticity and Strategic Profile Presentation

The Role of Universal Attractiveness and Personal Branding

Prioritizing Authenticity and the Importance of Genuine Connection

The "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" Approach to Dating

Research on Attraction and Qualities of a Good Long-Term Partner

Navigating Responsiveness and Communication in Dating vs. Relationships

The Power of Individuality and Breaking Dating "Rules"

Prom Date vs. Life Partner: Identifying Deeper Qualities in Dating

Accidental Selection for Growth Mindset and the Importance of Experimentation

Post-Date Reflection and Re-evaluating Dating Checklists

The Post-Date Eight Exercise and Identifying Key Relationship Qualities

The Importance of Second Dates and Shifting Mindsets

Balancing Strategic Planning with Authentic Connection in Dating

The Limitations of Articulating Preferences and the Importance of Feeling

Navigating the First Kiss and Challenging Dating "Rules"

Creating Great Dates: Mindset, Activities, and Ending on a High Note

Audience Questions: Becoming a Better Life Partner

Teaching Relationship Skills to Young People

Growing Together in Long-Term Relationships

Personal Growth and Adaptation in Relationships Following Adversity

Audience Questions: Monogamy, Acceptance, and Crushes on Friends

Dealing with Breakups and Quick-Fire Questions

How to Not Die Alone - A Dating Experts Guide

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

00:00Introduction to Logan Ury and the Podcast Topic

Introduction to Logan Ury and the Podcast Topic

01:15Logan Ury's Background and Journey into Relationship Science

Logan Ury's Background and Journey into Relationship Science

06:02Dating Coaching: Client Profile and Initial Assessment

Dating Coaching: Client Profile and Initial Assessment

09:12Long-Term Dating Goals and Addressing the Fear of Dying Alone

Long-Term Dating Goals and Addressing the Fear of Dying Alone

11:30Sponsor Message: Fabulous Self-Care App

Sponsor Message: Fabulous Self-Care App

13:23Identifying Dating Blind Spots and Unrealistic Expectations

Identifying Dating Blind Spots and Unrealistic Expectations

15:56Common Dating Problems Among High-Achieving Singles

Common Dating Problems Among High-Achieving Singles

17:35Objectivity in Dating and the Role of Mate Value

Objectivity in Dating and the Role of Mate Value

20:27The Myth of Soulmates and the Importance of Effort in Relationships

The Myth of Soulmates and the Importance of Effort in Relationships

23:40Shifting from "Spark" to "Build": Re-evaluating Dating Criteria

Shifting from "Spark" to "Build": Re-evaluating Dating Criteria

24:32The Secretary Problem and its Application to Dating

The Secretary Problem and its Application to Dating

28:32The Role of Female Friendships and the Importance of Actual Dating

The Role of Female Friendships and the Importance of Actual Dating

31:40Dating Like a Scientist: Action Steps and Profile Optimization

Dating Like a Scientist: Action Steps and Profile Optimization

34:00Addressing Common Objections to Dating Apps and Profile Strategies

Addressing Common Objections to Dating Apps and Profile Strategies

37:47Authenticity vs. Optimization on Dating Profiles

Authenticity vs. Optimization on Dating Profiles

43:14Balancing Authenticity and Strategic Profile Presentation

Balancing Authenticity and Strategic Profile Presentation

47:17The Role of Universal Attractiveness and Personal Branding

The Role of Universal Attractiveness and Personal Branding

51:49Prioritizing Authenticity and the Importance of Genuine Connection

Prioritizing Authenticity and the Importance of Genuine Connection

53:54The "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" Approach to Dating

The "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" Approach to Dating

57:01Research on Attraction and Qualities of a Good Long-Term Partner

Research on Attraction and Qualities of a Good Long-Term Partner

1:00:22Navigating Responsiveness and Communication in Dating vs. Relationships

Navigating Responsiveness and Communication in Dating vs. Relationships

1:03:44The Power of Individuality and Breaking Dating "Rules"

The Power of Individuality and Breaking Dating "Rules"

1:06:16Prom Date vs. Life Partner: Identifying Deeper Qualities in Dating

Prom Date vs. Life Partner: Identifying Deeper Qualities in Dating

1:10:18Accidental Selection for Growth Mindset and the Importance of Experimentation

Accidental Selection for Growth Mindset and the Importance of Experimentation

1:12:38Post-Date Reflection and Re-evaluating Dating Checklists

Post-Date Reflection and Re-evaluating Dating Checklists

1:15:05The Post-Date Eight Exercise and Identifying Key Relationship Qualities

The Post-Date Eight Exercise and Identifying Key Relationship Qualities

1:16:42The Importance of Second Dates and Shifting Mindsets

The Importance of Second Dates and Shifting Mindsets

1:20:28Balancing Strategic Planning with Authentic Connection in Dating

Balancing Strategic Planning with Authentic Connection in Dating

1:24:10The Limitations of Articulating Preferences and the Importance of Feeling

The Limitations of Articulating Preferences and the Importance of Feeling

1:26:06Navigating the First Kiss and Challenging Dating "Rules"

Navigating the First Kiss and Challenging Dating "Rules"

1:29:56Creating Great Dates: Mindset, Activities, and Ending on a High Note

Creating Great Dates: Mindset, Activities, and Ending on a High Note

1:33:42Audience Questions: Becoming a Better Life Partner

Audience Questions: Becoming a Better Life Partner

1:42:02Teaching Relationship Skills to Young People

Teaching Relationship Skills to Young People

1:44:59Growing Together in Long-Term Relationships

Growing Together in Long-Term Relationships

1:53:21Personal Growth and Adaptation in Relationships Following Adversity

Personal Growth and Adaptation in Relationships Following Adversity

1:57:26Audience Questions: Monogamy, Acceptance, and Crushes on Friends

Audience Questions: Monogamy, Acceptance, and Crushes on Friends

2:00:51Dealing with Breakups and Quick-Fire Questions

Dealing with Breakups and Quick-Fire Questions