主播：Flora（中国）+Selah（美国）

歌曲：How to Be Alone

01. 什么是“松弛感”？

Selah has often seen the Chinese phrase "松弛感" on the Internet. What is it?
其实，松弛感我们可以说 “a sense of relaxation (一种放松的感觉)” 或者 “a chill vibe (一种松弛的氛围)”。

Basically, on Weibo, a lot of people are posting pictures with the phrase "sense of relaxation" on them (发布配文有“松弛感”的照片). 最近关于the Paris Olympics（巴黎奥运会）的新闻也有一些带有“松弛感 (a chill vibe)” 的文案。

Actually, a lot of people are looking for a sense of relaxation (寻找一种松弛感) these days. "Chill vibe" does sound like something you would want to be and feel, but it's sometimes counterproductive to strive for it intentionally (刻意争取有时会适得其反). 越想抓紧反而越得不到，“松弛感”就是这么一种神奇的感觉。
• counterproductive adj. 事与愿违的
• intentionally /ɪnˈtenʃənəli/ adv. 故意地

真正的松弛感意味着：我们会更加注重inner peace（内心的平静）and fulfillment（满足），不再过度追求material satisfaction（物质满足）and external evaluation（外部评价），而是更加注重self-growth（自我成长）and enrichment of the inner world（内心世界的丰富）。

02. 为什么会追求“松弛感”？

It is actually related to (和......有关) the fast-paced life nowadays (当今快节奏的生活) . 它满足了年轻人stress relief（缓解压力）的intrinsic craving（内在渴望）。
• intrinsic /ɪnˈtrɪnzɪk/ adj. 内在的

The older generation, who have worked hard all their lives until they die, do not have such thoughts (一辈子操劳的老一辈，是没有这种念想的).
Selah has also heard that Chinese people work very hard (中国人工作非常努力)。But at the same time there is a lot of pressure from all around them, society, their families, and their own selves (他们也面临着来自周围、社会、家庭和自己的巨大压力).
So she can understand how young people think (她能理解年轻人的想法), they feel like "at least I can live differently (至少我能换个活法)".

英国作家毛姆（William Somerset Maugham）在他的《在中国屏风上》（On a Chinese Screen）中就写到“To be harassed by the wear and tear of life, and to pass rapidly (被生活损耗、折磨，然后迅速走完生命历程), through it without the possibility of arresting one's course,-is not this pitiful indeed (根本得不到休息——这不是很可怜吗)? ”
• harass /həˈræs/ v. 骚扰
• wear and tear of life 生活的磨损：指日常生活中的压力、疲劳和损耗，对身体和心理造成的影响。
• arrest v. 抑制

“To labor without ceasing (苦苦地干，没完没了), and then, without living to enjoy the fruit (然后还没活到享受劳动果实的日子), worn out, to depart, suddenly (就疲惫地突然逝去), one knows not whither, -is not that a just cause for grief (也不知道会落个什么归宿——这难道不令人悲哀吗)?”
• cease v. 终止，结束
• whither adv. 到哪里，去哪儿
• grief /ɡri:f/ n. 悲伤，悲痛
What is the point of it all (这一切有什么意义) if you are not enjoying the journey? He is saying that is a cause for grief (这是悲伤的原因).

03. 过度追求“松弛感”会怎样？

It is indeed sad to be overworked and not thinking. But you can't get a sense of relaxation by deliberately pursuing it (但你不能通过刻意追求来获得放松感).
• overwork v. 使过度劳累
• deliberately /dɪˈlɪbərətli/ adv. 故意地
It's the same as sleeping (这个其实跟睡觉是一样的). The insomniac who keeps thinking (失眠的人一直想) , "I have to fall asleep, I have to fall asleep," will probably have insomnia that night (那天晚上可能会失眠).
• insomniac /ɪnˈsɑ:mniæk/ n. 失眠症患者

When the chill vibe becomes a cultural symbol (成为一种文化象征), there are bound to be people who follow suit (一定会有人跟风) because it looks cool. 然而，真正的放松是模仿不来的，甚至是学不来的。
• follow suit 效仿
Because it requires the inner self-sufficiency (需要内在的自给自足) and peace (平和) that comes with maturity and time (伴随成熟和时间而来的).
• maturity /məˈtʃʊrəti/ n. 成熟
The real sense of relaxation is never a photo on social media, but your true feelings (真正的松弛感从来不是社交媒体上的一张照片，而是你的真实感受).

04. 中国古人的松弛感

（1）战国时期，庄子主张在天地间“逍遥游”，达到无己、无功、无名的境界。The most highly cultivated person (最有修养的人) can let nature take its course (顺其自然), forget himself (无己), and has no intention of seeking merit (无心求功), and the saint with moral learning has no intention of seeking fame (有道德学问的圣人无心求名).
• saint n. 圣人
It is kind of the saying “go with the flow (随遇而安)” instead of trying so hard to make something happen for you. 其实就是比较“佛系”。

（2）要说“佛系”，魏晋时期的“竹林七贤”绝对算得上我们现在说的“佛系青年(Buddha-like youngsters)”。
他们在竹林间（live in the bamboo forest），不闻外事，不问朝纲，只求开怀畅饮、放歌长啸、抚琴赋诗、谈玄论道，过潇洒惬意的生活（live a dashing and cozy life）。
Actually, similar ideas have been around for a long time in the West as well (类似的想法在西方也已经存在很长时间了).

05. 西方“廷臣”的松弛感

西方的西塞罗（Cicero）（公元前106-43年）曾主张“deliberate negligence（有意的疏忽）”，意思是在演讲时故意隐藏修辞和技巧。
Cicero was actually a famous orator in ancient Rome (西塞罗实际上是一位著名的演说家). 他善于雄辩。别的演讲者都是唯恐自己的言辞不够犀利、不能直击对方观点的要害，但他却提倡“deliberate negligence”。That's interesting.

These Western concepts developed in the Middle Ages (这些西方观念发展到中世纪), and a phenomenally popular work appeared (一部现象级传播的作品出现) - "The Courtier (《廷臣》)".
This is a great work that swept the whole of Europe (这是一部席卷整个欧洲的伟大作品) during the Italian Renaissance (在意大利文艺复兴时期).
• phenomenally /fəˈnɑ:mɪnəli/ adv. 现象上地

In the discussion of "grace (优雅)" and "sprezzatura", The Courtier pointed out that courtiers (廷臣) must "show appropriate calmness in all their actions (在行动中表现出适当的冷静) so that their words and deeds (言语和行为) seem to have been effortless and thoughtless (毫不费力、不假思索的)."
• sprezzatura /sprettsaˈtu:ra/ n. 不羁，潇洒（意大利词汇，用于描述一种轻松、不费力地表现出优雅和自信的态度）
在这本书中，一位廷臣要appear natural and unforced (表现出自然、不被强迫). Maybe that's what a chill vibe looks like.
这本书还谈到the qualities of a perfect courtier（作为一个完美廷臣的品质），不仅要精通arms（武器）还要精通letters（文字），简单来说就是能文能武，而且还要体现sprezzatura。
Basically it means "not caring (不关心)" but here it also contains the meaning of "calmness and confidence (冷静、自信)" and quick action (行动迅速).

It reminded Flora of a Chinese fable (中国寓言故事). 有一个卖油翁，把一枚铜钱盖在葫芦口上，让油穿过钱孔倒进葫芦，而钱却没有湿。有人问他说：为什么手那么稳呢？他回答说：“无他，惟手熟尔（也没什么啦，不过是手法熟练罢了）。”

06. 如何拥有真正的“松弛感”？

（1）Practice makes perfect (熟能生巧)

Flora thinks instead of mimicking someone else's chill vibe (与其模仿别人的松弛感), she'd rather learn how they practice to achieve proficiency (她更愿意学习他们如何练习达到熟能生巧). She believes there's a lot of things that give us a chill vibe when we've done them a lot (有很多事做多了之后就会有松弛感).
• mimic /ˈmɪmɪk/ v. 模仿（人的言行举止）
• proficiency /prəˈfɪʃ(ə)nsi/ n. 熟练，精通

（2）Be present in the present moment (活在当下)

Selah thinks we should be present in the present moment and focus on the matter itself (关注事情本身). 其实过去的已经过去，未来的还未到来，我们关注能把握的当下就好了。
We cannot always be thinking ahead (提前思考) or be thinking about the next best thing. Developing an "Experiencer's Mindset (体验者的思维)" will allow you to enjoy the process (会让你享受这个过程).
Flora believes life is like a game. Getting a good game experience is what matters (获得良好的游戏体验才是最重要的).

(3)“Accept everything (接受一切)”

Life is just about taking things as they come (随遇而安) and taking things in strides (大步向前). 允许一切发生，就像孔子在《论语》中说的：既来之，则安之。
Besides, it is important to understand yourself and accept yourself (了解和接受自己很重要). Understand what matters to you (知道你觉得重要的事), what you care about (你关心的事), what you want to spend your time doing (你想花时间做的事), and how you want to go about life (你想怎样生活). 我们如何体验生活是一种选择（How we experience life is a choice）。

认识和接受自己是爱自己的开始（Knowing and accepting yourself is the beginning of loving yourself）。Only then will we know what kind of life we want to live (只有这样，我们才会知道我们想要过什么样的生活).
那时，你不追寻松弛感（when you don't seek the chill vibe），松弛感也会随之而来（the chill vibe will follow）。

请留言告诉我们：

你是怎么看待“松弛感”的呢？

你真的了解“松弛感”吗？中西双视角带你远离虚假的“松弛感”

一席英语·脱口秀：老外来了