Today I am so happy to have my friend (and a great friend of The Brainy Business) Brian Ahearn back on the show. Brian is a wealth of information and is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence People. It has been almost 100 weeks since Brian was on the show – which is kind of crazy to think about. He was here in episode 104 talking about how to ethically influence people and his first book, Influence PEOPLE.

Now he is here talking about his third book, called The Influencer, which came out a couple of months ago. Today, Brian gives tips about Cialdini’s 7 Principles of Persuasion, including some things to do as well as common pitfalls to avoid. He also talks about how he approached writing a business parable for this third book, and how that was different from a traditional business book. Lots of great insights await in this brainy episode!

Show Notes:

[00:41] Today I am so happy to have my friend Brian Ahearn back on the show.
[01:36] He is a Ted X presenter who has more than 30 years of experience in the insurance industry.
[03:39] Brian shares his background and what he does in this world of behavioral sciences.
[05:33] Changing how people think or feel about something isn’t usually enough–you need to get them to change their behavior.
[06:46] It is not about what we think and how we feel. It is about how they think and feel.
[09:16] Don’t tell, ask. Also, say “Because…” and give a valid reason. That simple restructure is going to get you what you need far more often.
[11:46] The Principle of Liking was something he learned the importance of through Cialdini.
[12:37] It is not about us getting someone to like us, it is about us utilizing those same approaches to come to know and like them.
[14:13] A lot of times, we don’t know how thirsty we are until we take that first sip. (Giving compliments to people who don’t get them often is like giving a thirsty person water, it makes a huge impact.)
[16:32] Life is a lot happier when we are looking for the good in people and they are responding positively to us.
[17:41] Brian shares about his three books and how they differ from each other.
[19:09] His most recent book is called The Influencer: Secrets to Success and Happiness.
[21:11] He shares that his approach for his most recent book is much like his approach to parenting.
[23:14] He shares how his first two books were different from his most recent book.
[25:49] Authority is really important for speaking and training and a book helps create that authority.
[27:53] Brian summarizes Cialdini’s 7 Principles of Persuasion: liking, reciprocity, unity, authority, social proof, consistency, and scarcity.
[30:14] Liking Tip: Don’t go into a situation trying to get people to like you. Have the mindset that you want to come to like the people you are with.
[32:32] Scarcity Tip: Instead of talking about all the positive reasons for doing business with you, talk about what people give up for not doing business with you.
[35:17] The value of ending with a question can have a huge impact. (reframing!)
[37:06] All of life and sales is a long game. It is good to put the goodness out into the world and in some way it will come back to you.
[39:23] Brian shares the things he is excited about and what he is working on.
[42:17] Melina shares her closing thoughts.
[43:45] Melina’s top takeaways: Don’t ask how you can get people to like you, instead find ways that you can like other people. When you genuinely like people and find things in common with them everything gets better.
[44:46] If you enjoy the experience I’ve provided here for you, will you share about it? That could mean leaving a rating/review or sharing the episode with a friend (or 10!)

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Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode:

Influence PEOPLE, by Brian Ahearn
Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents, by Brian Ahearn
The Influencer, by Brian Ahearn
Influence, by Robert Cialdini
Presuasion, by Robert Cialdini

Connect with Brian:

Brian’s Website
Brian on LinkedIn
Brian on Twitter

Top Recommended Next Episode: How To Ethically Influence People: Interview with Author Brian Ahearn (episode 104)

Already Heard That One? Try These:

Dr. Robert Cialdini and the (Now!) 7 Principles of Persuasion (episode 157)
How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race & Inequality: Interview with Kwame Christian (episode 107)
Using Anchoring in Negotiations, an Interview with Kwame Christian (episode 146)
Avoiding Everyday Work Disasters, an Interview with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky (episode 111)
How to Avoid Disasters When Returning to the Office, with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky (episode 175)
How Simple Nudges Can Save Hundreds of Millions, interview with Dectech’s Dr. Benny Cheung (episode 140)
Scarcity (episode 14)
Reciprocity (episode 23)
Social Proof (episode 87)
Focusing Illusion (episode 89)
Confirmation Bias (episode 102)
Precommitment (episode 120)
Loss Aversion (episode 9)
Framing (episode 16)

Other Important Links:

Brainy Bites - Melina’s LinkedIn Newsletter
The Power of the Word "Because" to Get People to Do Stuff

Check out What Your Customer Wants and Can’t Tell You on Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, Book Depository, and Booktopia

199. Brainy Tips for Ethical Influence with Brian Ahearn

The Brainy Business | Understanding the Psychology of Why People Buy | Behavioral Economics