Christopher Zara didn’t finish high school, and can sometimes feel like an outsider working in a field where it’s more common to have a college degree. Sometimes he’s able to push through his social anxiety, to put on a tough face. But other times his body won’t give him a chance to feel at ease – it seizes up, and in Christopher’s case that means not being able to pee even when he really, really has to.

“Imagine you’re unable to perform a basic function like move your hand or your leg,” Christopher said, “You're standing, in my case, in front of a urinal or wherever the bathroom is, and it just doesn't happen.”

In this episode, Christopher talks to producer Zoe Azulay about “paruresis,” more colloquially known as shy bladder syndrome, how it’s been disruptive to his life, how he thinks it's connected to class anxiety, and how it’s gotten better.

Christopher Zara’s memoir is called Uneducated: A Memoir of Flunking Out, Falling Apart, and Finding My Worth

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

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My Shy Bladder

Death, Sex & Money