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Today's guest is Dr. Jessica Higgins, a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. Now you might be wondering why we’re going to talk to a psychologist about relationships today, but while Dr. Higgins specializes in treating couples, our conversation covers the entire spectrum of building and maintaining relationships - even professional ones. Relationship building is a key strategy I teach in my Advance Yourself course, and beyond that a key component of joy and fulfillment (or not) in our lives.

In our conversation, we discuss what really goes on behind the scenes when it comes to the start of any personal or professional relationship, and how that attraction can so easily shift to conflict. Dr. Higgins shares the deeper roots of how we form conflict with others and in turn, how we can better manage these situations and come to a resolution rather than burn a bridge. By more deeply understanding how relationships work, we can change the game when it comes to our personal connections and professional network.

I cannot stress enough the valuable insights I have learned from Dr. Higgins and know you will have your own eye-opening experiences by listening to what she has to share. Her strategies in dealing with conflict, understanding who to connect with (and how) are in perfect alignment with what I teach my students in the Optimizer Coaching and Mentorship program. Beyond all of the helpful information Dr. Higgins provides in our conversation, she also shares a free guide which can be downloaded here to help you communicate better in your relationships.

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Here's What You'll Learn:

The difficult relationship Dr. Higgins’ experienced that she thought she could avoid as a psychologist
The real difference between a therapist and a coach (and which one you need)
The different forms of “attachment styles” and how knowing them can transform how we relate to others
Why opposites really do attract, and why it’s important to know this
How our nervous system is involved with non verbal communication (and why this matters)
The most common misconceptions of conflict and why it’s important to understand where they are coming from
How to identify patterns of relationship conflicts (and why you should)
The single most important question to ask when you are in any conflict - even professionally
How you can help someone who doesn’t want to be helped
How to structure a conversation during conflict so that you can actually find a resolution

Useful Resources Mentioned:

Shifting Criticism for Connected Communication (free guide)

Empowered Relationship podcast

Continue to Listen & Learn

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Ep154: Using Humility to Cultivate Relationships and Land Your Dream Gig In Network TV | with Scott Powell, ACE

Ep139: Fostering Better Relationships and Improving Team Culture | with Jason Barger

Ep217: How to Live a Better Life Simply by Asking Better Questions | with Marc Champagne

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Ep195: When Being a “People Pleaser” Goes Too Far (and How to Set Boundaries) | with Lisa Robison, CCE

Ep164: How to ‘Get In the Room’ and Work with Producers Who Will Value & Respect You | with Matt Nix

Ep41: How to Master “Offline” Networking at Live Events | with Camille Virginia

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Guest Bio:

dr-jessica-higgins-bio Dr. Jessica Higgins

Dr. Jessica Higgins holds two graduate degrees in psychology, two coaching certifications, and over 20 years of experience helping clients achieve successful results.

As the host of the Empowered Relationship Podcast, she helps people navigate the terrain of long-lasting intimacy more skillfully and mindfully. Through her coaching and online course, clients transform pain into love and connection.

Show Credits:

This episode was edited by Curtis Fritsch, and the show notes were prepared by Debby Germino and published by Glen McNiel.

The original music in the opening and closing of the show is courtesy of Joe Trapanese (who is quite possibly one of the most talented composers on the face of the planet).

Ep227: A Psychologist’s Guide to Building Relationships and Managing Conflict (Both Personally and Professionally) | With Dr. Jessica Higgins

Optimize Yourself