Who are you? It’s a question you’ve had to answer if you’ve ever moved, changed jobs, or started a new relationship.

And it’s natural that who you are will change with each new experience you gain and new memories you form. The “story of you” will be different.

At the same time, our brain is an incredible editor. With limited storage space for memories, it’s got to pick and choose. It does that by connecting the dots between them to give us the stories we tell about ourselves.

In other words, who we are is who we say we are. It’s informed by our past, our present, and predictions we make about our future.

That’s both tremendously freeing and just a little bit scary. At any moment, we’re not one self, we’re many selves. And that self is constructed. By us.

Gregory Berns walks us through all of this and more in his latest book, The Self Delusion: The New Neuroscience of How We Invent – and Reinvent – Our Identities. He points out that we are, by nature, storytellers, and he shares ways to put that skill to work for us, so we can avoid regret and prioritize our values.

This is a great book to read if you’re feeling stuck or trying to make a major life decision. It’ll help you weigh the options and gain a different perspective on how you see yourself.

Episode Links

Changing the Narrative of Your Self

How Do the Books We Read Change Our Brains?

Dinosaurs by Lydia Millet

The Team

Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

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CM 227: Gregory Berns on How You See Yourself

Curious Minds at Work